You all know what I'm talking about ... picking a college, picking a job, moving to Kutztown, PA??? , the serious girl friend, marriage, kids, getting hair plugs ...
Funny how when I get done making a "Huge Descision" I just end up running into another one a couple of months or years down the road. When do I get a break? I look at all these event in my life as opporunities, not good stuff or bad stuff. Simply something that I can decide to sulk about or take it head on make the best of it. I think that as long as I can always look back and learn from it and stick with my the descision I make seeing them through then I'll in the end be happier for it. Any other mentality just wouldn't get me through the day as I see it.
With that being said once again I tenatively approach another full set of descisions. I know what I want, I have a good idea of how to get there, and yet excution of all those thoughts, ideas, and feelings are just never as easy as I think they should be.
I have basically the two little guys that tell me what to do, like an angel and a devil. But not exactly as all these descision are not about right and wrong, but rather more like one is the conservative, safe guy and the other is the ass kicking risk taker. Lets, for the sake of this blog, say that the name of the conservative one is former host of NBA Inside Stuff, Ahmad Rashad. The risk taking tough guy is of course an obvious choice of Phil Collins, the form lead singer of Genesis and my hero. There are times thur out my life where I would proudly describe myself as either. But at a time like this I seem to be listening to Ahmad screaming all the time while Phil is dragging him around. You see Phil does know what is best for Ryan, and so does Ahmad. The thing is that Ahmad is scared of what all has to be done to do what is right for Ryan. Phil doesn't really like it either, the difference is that Phil will do whatever it takes... no questions asked. Ahmad, to be honest here, is so scared he would rather do nothing and just sit here in the so-so situation he is in. So I guess what I'm saying is thank God for Phil Collins.
I never know at the time of descision how it will turn out. To be honest alot of times they don't turn out how I would like them too. The thing is that I always get thur it and I'm glad made the choice I did. I grow a lil, end up being proud I took the risk (even though I have really looked back and thought I was a moron at times), and I hope that one day all this will lead me to that Zen like mental state where I will never worry about a descision. I'll be at peace with everything, knowing full well that I have already came across it and I can just easily pick a route to follow and will make me happy. So until then I'm going to sit back and watch round 3,894 of Ahmad vs. Phil. Wish me luck... I wish I knew which one of them I should bet on this round.
4 comments:
That's deep man. I know what you're talking about. My two guys are Indiana Jones and Monk, that obsessive compulsive guy on that show.
oh ryan. i LOVE this entry. i didn't know that about you and phil though... well, go ahead and kick some ass. and when you're done let me know how, bc i'm lonely and my "ahmad" or whoever is crying because my "phil" dragged his ass to carbondale, il.
Great use of metaphors. I'm glad to see activity on your blog again.
so I'm not always the best advice giver on this planet. but if I know you somewhat well (which I think I do) and if I'm reading the implications of your entry correctly (which I think I am) I would like to shake you by the shoulders and say listen to Phil dammit. If it doesn't go as planned, then it doesn't. You pick up, you move on. It's hard, you manage. But really, at least you know you tried.
Phil, I'm on your side buddy.
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